Recently I read something online that was short, sweet, and proved a very powerful point…it was the arbonne scam article. When people are becoming comfortable with one another they often love to share their passions and express their excitement over it which, when watched up close, is a truly awesome thing. Watching a person go from quiet to rubicund cheeks due to excitement, you can’t help but get caught up in how strongly they feel. Unfortunately, this innate piece of human beauty is often immediately covered up or dismissed due to fear of rejection or low self-esteem. I’m sorry I’m so excitable, I’d tell you about this but it’d be boring, well I’d love to discuss this but I’m not very good at it… These have become our disclaimers and our warning labels. We immediately remind someone that we are not worth their time and that we are not very good at what we do, and it is disheartening to say the least.
I am probably one of the worst offenders I have ever met. Anytime I am not around my husband and I attempt to speak a thought, feeling, or opinion I immediately remind you that it probably isn’t worth listening to and I won’t express it as well as someone else could. Well I’m fucking sick of it. We’ve done this to ourselves by allowing others to let us feel as if we are inferior, and it’s the most bullshit torture device I’ve ever witnessed. Passion, true, unadulterated passion, is a crazy beautiful thing. To watch someone’s eyes light up over an anime, new subject in class, strongly held belief, or anything else is like being taken on a free vacation to Awesome Town. Why are we so afraid of being excited?
For women I think that answer is almost too easy. Often in our lives we are told that we shouldn’t be so emotional, we need to be calmer, you seriously need to relax, you’re being a drama QUEEN. It’s upsetting, hurtful, and it debases you as a person for what? Simply because you became excited? Seriously, fuck them. After thinking about all of this I’ve made an incredibly simple, yet hard to follow through with, promise to myself that I will no longer be a walking disclaimer of myself. I will no longer excuse my thoughts, I will no longer warn you that I am not worth listening to so that I can beat you to the punch line before you think it. I won’t even apologize for speaking.
One of the joys of being married to someone who is so intelligent most people have a hard time speaking around him is that I know he is on MY side. Where I used to think that I was dumb, clumsy, and unable to strain a coherent thought together, I get to remind myself that this person, this person I met and fell for as I watched him orate the Iliad in a beautiful, booming voice, this person believes in ME. Why am I so busy excusing myself when this person I admire so much would quiet a thousand people just to hear me talk about my latest obsession: currently completing an all Goth gang in Fire Emblem Fates: Revelations (Ugh, wha’ever).
The thing is that not everyone is lucky enough to HAVE that person by their sides right now. Maybe they haven’t met them, maybe their best friend is in another country, who cares, so many reasons can keep people apart. Well I want you to know that I will never shut you out. All of us deserve to be heard and we shouldn’t have to fucking apologize for it: for being excitable, for being EMOTIONAL! For hundreds of years people have told one another to be calmer, to quiet down, and I’m here to tell you to speak louder and be heard! Within our culture it’s like a plague, this stigma that people who are loud or emotional are broken, you can’t take them into public, what kind of cretin are you? You’re not! You’re wonderful! Every time you begin to discuss what makes you happy and you light up like the streets of Sienna at 2am and begin talking so fast you might as well be The Flash I am HAPPY for you.
If you cry too easily I don’t care, it’s not too easily, it’s just right for you. Any emotion you show is valid and it really is okay. As quickly as people rush to use these blanket terms in life to label you and quiet you, I ask that you rush to destroy those terms and make new, individual labels for yourselves. Every single person deserves to be heard, even women (shockingly) and you should never be made to feel inferior for how you express yourself. Shy of you lobbing a bomb through my window because this one time you got the feeling I didn’t like you, I really couldn’t care less how you go about expressing your passion for things. Sure, there is always an extreme and yes, there is always a one-off for any situation like this, but that isn’t the point. Let people get to know you for you, let these people build their own opinions, let them assess your thoughts, don’t feed them the negativity up front because, for all you know, they may love the shit out of you.